Three can keep a secret, if two of them are dead” – Benjamin Franklin
I came across this quote as an undergraduate about 37 years ago. Since then, it has been one of my life’s guiding principles and it has kept me out of many troubles.
My understanding of this quote is that the best-kept secrets are those known to only one person (you). Once more than one person knows, it can easily become an open secret because you are no longer in total control. Just give it time, it will blow open, unless all those who know keep sealed lips. But that is not the nature of man.
Some people are leaky taps, while some who keep secrets sometimes seek at least one “reliable” person to unburden their hearts to. Before you know it the unburdening continues until it gets to the ears of too many people. These days, people get to hear of the death of parents and family members from strangers on social media. That is the world we live in. Everyone wants to be the first to break the news. News breaking in mass media, also known as scoop, used to be exclusive preserve of practising journalists, but it is no longer so.
Probably, less than one per cent of people with secrets of others go to their graves with the secrets. Even at the best of time when there was honour and integrity, there were leakages, not to talk of an era when everyone is a media person or influencer. In this column, I usually do not focus on individuals often, except for deeds I consider commendable. Otherwise, I write generally on issues and I am going to do same today.
In September 1983, Vanessa Williams made history when she was crowned the first African-American Miss America in an America that was still very racist then. But soon after, nude photos of Williams were plastered on the pages of Penthouse Magazine. According to the story, Tom Chiapel, the photographer who took Williams photos, years before Williams was crowned, made a firm promise never to make them public.
Then he fell into hard times and remembered he had a gold mine. He sold the photos to Penthouse Magazine. Williams lost her Miss USA title. She was distraught and could have taken the path of suicide it she was not a strong woman.
For some time now in the Nigerian media space, we have been hearing of leaked nude photos and sex videos of “celebrities.” When these photos and videos go online, the “victims” cry out publicly of betrayal and blackmail. They become “distraught.” Each time I see that charade and foolishness, I remember the above quote: “Three can keep a secret, if two of them are dead.” When someone takes your nude photos, don’t you know it is no longer secret? What was going on in your head when you sent your nudes to your boyfriend? Lust, I guess.
Were you not in this Nigeria when someone said her ex-husband is a one-minute man? Where were you when a man filed for divorce because his wife has foul-smelling privates? Have you not read where spouses publicly accused their other halves of bedwetting? If someone can reveal such damaging information about a spouse he/she had children with, who are you an ordinary girlfriend/boyfriend to think that your secrets are safe with your lover? Must it happen to you before you learn?
What is this craze about taking nude photos? What is your purpose? I am just curious because you should have a reason for all your actions in life. Without that, you are no better than a ship that is adrift? I know some girls have sites online where their fans or patron visit to view their nude photos for a fee or people subscribe. The purpose is clear: money.
But when you just take nude photos for fun, what is that for? I have warned my children never to allow anyone take their photos when they are nude, not even their spouses after marriage. You never know, some people can be very nasty when relationships go awry. They forget the good old times you shared together. After relationships become sour, you hear sordid details during divorce proceedings and in media interviews.
If the photos were taken without your knowledge or permission, it is a different matter and there might be legal remedies for that, but you cannot complain over photos taken with your full knowledge. Someone I know almost beat up his wife for taking a photo of his penis. It was a serious matter. The wife thought it was just fun, but it could easily have ended her marriage. She has since learnt to draw the boundaries when bringing new trends into her marriage.
The other group I want to talk about are those who leak their sex tapes to get attention and followership, then come back to play the victim. They are pathetic. They irritate me so highly. I hate hypocrites and I guess it is the hypocrisy that irritates most.
It is a publicity stunt. Why play the victim to deceive us? As I have said before all humankind have elements of hypocrisy in them, but not everyone is called a hypocrite. You are labelled a hypocrite when it becomes habitual or prevalent. Most people in Sub Sahara Africa, have malaria parasites, but not everyone comes down with malaria. That is hypocrisy for you.
Most of us carry the “hypocrisy parasites,” but not all of us are called hypocrites. Some of us are actually referred to as honest, decent and straightforward, though we carry the “hypocrisy parasite.” Like malaria, it is the “overdose” of their hypocrisy that makes them hypocrites.
Since they have chosen the path of infamy, they should be deliberate and not pretend. “Kim Kardashian catapulted into fame when a scandalous video showcasing her sexual exploits with former boyfriend, rapper Ray J., was leaked online.
Having gained fame and notoriety. She added shrewd business sense to amass a fortune now estimated at 1.4 billion dollars. Nigerian celebrities who leak sex video online, what is your game plan since you have chosen the path of nudity and notoriety to wealth? Come out clean and stop this hypocrisy and foolishness. Stop playing the ostrich, or is it the media I should discourage from promoting meaningless content?
The sex business in all forms is worth trillions of dollars worldwide. I do not know what anybody except God can do about that. Once iron and magnet get too close, they cling together.
My own is that if you decide to eat toads, look for fat ones to eat, not foolishness that will ultimately take you nowhere. We live in a sex-obsessed and nudity-obsessed world spiced with relativism.
As I grow older, I try to mind my business, especially with a generation who want to teach their grandparents wisdom and life’s experience. But some of these youngsters sometimes provoke you to talk. And I am not shy to take up that challenge to point them in the right direction.
Via: https://www.vanguardngr.com/2023/01/leaked-sex-tapes-and-nude-photos/
