- Wife abused for 18 years, sought help but was told her decision ‘too harsh’
Background
A 40-year-old housewife, identified as Oluchi, has revealed how her husband, Longinus, has allegedly been abusing her physically over the last 18 years.
The woman, who ran to Advocates for Children and Vulnerable Persons Network (ACVPN), seeking solace and justice, said that her 48-year-old husband physically assaults her at the slightest imagined or real provocation. Oluchi, who said that her life was in danger, added that she had been crying out and seeking help all to no avail.
Frustrated by Police
According to her, she first reported the matter at Ejigbo Police Station, but she was allegedly told by the Divisional Police Officer (DPO), to go and bring eyewitnesses to authenticate her complaint.
The matter was then transferred to the Lagos State Police Command Gender Unit, where Oluchi said that the matter took another bad turn. Her words: “When we went to the Gender Unit, the idea was for him to write an undertaking, but the Unit rather emboldened him. He did not write the undertaking, but instead left there to lock up my shop.
“The officer in charge of the Gender Unit told me that my decision to leave the marriage for my safety was too harsh. She said that I should think of my children. How can I be running for my life and the police who are supposed to help me are saying my decision was too harsh? “I bought all the goods in that shop myself. The shop is my source of livelihood. I sell provisions.
He has no right to lock up my shop. I am tired of this embarrassment. “I borrowed money from a micro-finance bank to start the business and he has now locked it. This is sheer wickedness. We built our houses together, now he feels he can push me out. He knows that whenever I am unhappy, going to my shop to sell makes me happy. Right now, I am frustrated! I have suffered. He has damaged the door to my room and my life is in danger.”
Abuse
According to the mother of four, she has been married for 19 years and most of those years she has been subjected to punches and kicks from her husband.
The embattled housewife explained that the latest attack that broke the camel’s back happened when she went to his bar, where his friend was having a birthday party.
She said: “He slapped, punched and kicked me. Two years ago, because of a lady he was dating, he beat me to the extent that I had internal bleeding. Everybody knew about it, including our Reverend Father.”
Children
Our reporter got hold of a video, where Oluchi was crying and discussing with one of her children. Weeping in the video, she said: “He beat me as if I was nobody. I can’t take this anymore. For years I have been bearing this.
What kind of marriage is this? When I married your father he had nothing. Why did God make my destiny like this?
“Every part of my body aches me. I am somebody’s wife, yet I am struggling and fending for myself. He knows I have nobody. If my junior brothers have money, will your daddy be doing this to me? He beats me and causes my miscarriages. He would accuse me every time of sleeping with other men.”
Hide and seek
When our reporter contacted Longinus to get his side of the story, he initially declined to speak with the reporter via phone, WhatsApp, voice note or SMS. Finally after agreeing to interact with our reporter via WhatsApp and giving his conditions, he said: “I prefer face-to-face. Lots of calls, police, human rights, church, individual and all are different approaches.
I don’t know.” The reporter denied being any of those parties he mentioned and urged him to use Google search to verify her identity and profession.
He then responded thus: “Fine, you sound genuine. Though I’m being very careful with people before some will set me up. It is good to meet one on one.”
Unfortunately after agreeing, Longinus then embarked on a hide-and-seek game with the reporter. Our reporter suggested a Saturday for the meeting and picked a venue at Isheri Idimu area of Egbeda, Lagos, by noon, however, Longinus insisted it should be by 4pm.
At about 11am on that same day, he chatted and changed the venue and time, insisting that the reporter should meet him at Ikeja on the same Saturday, noting that he would be within that axis.
The reporter told him that Ikeja was quite a distance from her location and suggested a phone interview, but Longinus declined. He then suggested that the reporter should give him a convenient time and that he would prefer the reporter’s office.
The reporter sent the office address and suggested a meeting on Monday by 12pm. He responded: “Okay better.” But again, he came online to change the appointment to Wednesday.
The reporter told him that Wednesday was already occupied, he then said Thursday. The reporter told him that he appeared to be playing a game and was not taking the matter with the seriousness it deserved.
The reporter further suggested that he contact his lawyer to inform him that a reporter reached out to him. The drama between Longinus and our reporter started on Friday at noon and ended on Saturday at noon.
A cry to CVPN for help
She noted that the last incident, which occurred on April 19, 2024, was so disturbing that she had to run to ACVPN, where the Head of Rescue and Referral, Comrade Toyin Okanlawon, attended to her.
Okanlawon said that the matter was handled by the Ejigbo Police Station. The Investigating Police Officer (IPO) is also the OC Human Rights.
The perpetrator was bailed from detention by his friends. The police officer further disclosed: “At a later date Longinus and Oluchi were asked to report back at the station, but the DPO requested the victim to present witnesses who saw when her husband beat her up and this was despite seeing injuries on her body.”
Another member of the ACVPN, Mrs Lolade Ajayi, who is also the Executive Director of DOHS Cares Foundation, said: “A friend was with her during the incident (beating by her husband), Longinus pushed the woman and her arm almost dislocated. This woman went to the police station and told the officers what she witnessed. The only thing is that she refused to write a statement, insisting that Oluchi’s case should be treated with seriousness.
‘‘This woman and Oluchi went to the bar together so we do not understand why the police are still asking for witnesses. Is this not crazy? There has been a history of domestic violence; the victim said that even her children could tell the story.
She said that most of the people in the bar that fateful day were mostly his club members, so they may not want to speak against him, but they all saw him beating her.”
Ejigbo Police offer clarity
The DPO in charge of Ejigbo Police Division, a Chief Superintendent of Police, Ms Vera, explained why she asked Oluchi to provide witnesses to her assault by Longinus.
She said: “I handled this case and the perpetrator insisted that he wasn’t the one that injured his wife but to make my complainant’s case very solid I asked her to bring her witness because, on the day of the incident, her close friend witnessed the incident but declined to give her statement.
The man insisted he wasn’t the one who inflicted injuries on her, so I asked the victim to bring a witness to help us make her case stronger.
“I am a trained Gender and Child Protection Officer, who doesn’t take gender cases lightly. Since I resumed in Ejigbo Police Station, I know the cases I have transferred to the Ikeja Gender Unit just to make sure the victim gets justice and even in this case at hand I told the victim that once she brings a witness and her husband is still adamant, we will transfer the case to the gender unit.”
ACVPN position
However, the co-founder of ACVPN, Mr Ebenezer Omejalile reacting on the matter, said: “Our position on this case is the unacceptable trajectory approach applied by the current Lagos Police Command, Ikeja OC Gender, by name Clementina. It is not acceptable because the OC’s Gender behaviour has clearly shown that her position is biased.
“If the OC Gender is truly an experienced Gender Unit Officer it is expected of her to apply for advice for Civil Protection Orders for the victim who alleged she suffered physical violence for years of their union with evidence available.
“The Violence Against Persons Prohibition Act VAPP 2015: clearly stated in Section 28 (1) that aggrieved persons can apply for a Protection Order that would be applicable in any part of Nigeria if granted.
“Can we say the OC Gender applied this process? The answer is capital no. This is because she does not have the requisite to manage such scenarios that require common sense. “The same applies to the Lagos State Domestic Violence Law which appreciates the fact that any person who is allegedly subjected to any form of domestic violence including children in the care of the victim can as well apply for a Protection Order.
“We are calling on the current Lagos State Commissioner of Police, CP Adegoke Fayoade, whom we know right from his days at the Sango Area Command, to be trusted, capable and known for justice, equity and fairness, to look into this particular case and other cases that this new OC Gender has been truncating.
The CP usually leaves positive footprints wherever he serves. “The current Ikeja OC Gender should know by now that she’s already being subjected to public scrutiny just a few months in office with so many discrepancies regarding the way cases are handled.”
Our reporter contacted the Lagos State Police Public Relations Officer (PPRO) Mr Benjamin Hundeyin, on the matter, asking why the Ikeja Gender Unit was not adhering to the laws in handling domestic violence, especially telling a domestic violence victim that leaving an abusive relationship was harsh.
The image manager would later respond that the OC Gender Unit denied knowledge of such a case. According to a report, A Guide For Para-Military Agencies (NSCDC/LNSC) In Handling Of Reports Of Domestic And Sexual Violence In Lagos State: “The story you hear may be so horrendous that it can seem hard to believe, but that does not mean that it has not happened.
A woman is unlikely to make up an allegation of domestic violence. Victims of domestic violence want to hold their family together, and they can find it difficult to disclose violence for a variety of reasons.” The report further states: “Studies have shown that the likelihood of prosecution improves by between 66 and 70 per cent when an officer lists more than one witness on a domestic violence report.
The time it takes to interview neighbours, speak to the emergency caller, who reported the crime, take statements, or interview children present in the home is worthwhile. It is difficult to determine who is telling the truth when only the defendant and victim are interviewed.”
