I dated her.
Years back.
This lady.
Beautiful in every aspect.
She was fair and beautiful.
Average and early 30s at the time we met.
I met her at a wedding here in Lagos.
It was a friend’s wedding somewhere in Festac.
It was that she was dancing with her friends at the reception.
Smiling and laughing.
I admired her from where I was seated with my friends near the stage.
I rarely approach people in a gathering, be it men or women, or friends.
But it wasn’t the case here, so I stood up, and walked up to her with a smile where she was dancing with her friends.
I humbly introduced myself to them and told her that I needed to talk to her privately if she could spare me one minute of her time.
Her friends were slightly confused, wondering if we knew each other before.
She was even more confused.
So she followed me to a corner.
I told her how I had been admiring her since I saw her even though I don’t know who she is.
She was already smiling because I made that humorous.
Then I made my intentions clear that I want to be her friend.
Right there she told me she liked how gentle I was with my approach.
And so we exchanged contacts.
To my surprise when she was going, she approached me and told me she was leaving.
I was eating with my friends, and told her that I’d be on my way soon as I needed to reach somewhere before I go home.
We exchanged goodbyes.
Ever since then, we got talking on WhatsApp.
And then it led to calls.
Then to video chats.
And then it was a date somewhere on the island.
It was there I told her what I wanted, a relationship.
She accepted immediately.
It was after we started dating, that I got to know what she was doing for a living.
It was the business of female wear.
Accessories.
General merchandise.
She also owned an upscale restaurant on the island.
She disliked Lagos which made her own an apartment in the east, but because of her business here in Lagos, she rented another apartment near her restaurant in Lekki.
The relationship turned to months and then a year.
I knew her parents and siblings.
And then she made it her routine to drive herself to my place on the weekends.
I did visit her whenever I had the time.
Then something happened to me.
I had lost my apartment in Lagos in an unusual way which I chose not to explain here.
She heard what happened and she was devastated.
I was brok.en.
All I needed was God, her, and my family to be with me at the time and encourage me.
Losing my apartment made me homeless in Lagos, so I called my uncle who accommodated me in his house.
My girlfriend was not in Lagos at the time, she was in her other house in the east, but when she heard what happened she took the next flight back to Lagos.
I went to her apartment in Lekki to see her.
There she encouraged me and promised not to leave no matter what.
When I got back to my uncle’s place that was the end of that relationship and I didn’t know that was her plan all along.
She stopped taking my calls.
Sent her messages on WhatsApp and SMS she was not returning them.
Even dropped her voice notes and explained to her that if she no longer want the relationship she should at least tell me than be mute on me.
She listened to my voice notes and didn’t respond to any of them, I was so hu.rt.
I called her siblings they told me they would talk to her.
Yet I didn’t hear from her.
Then one day I called her, and she picked up immediately, I was trying to find out why she wasn’t taking my calls.
She told me immediately.
“Please, can I call you back?”
She never did.
At that period in my life, I was homeless and I was heartbrok.en.
I was going through a breakup and going through losing everything I worked for.
It felt like suici.de, nothing made sense to me.
Someone I truly love left my life at the time I needed her the most.
I really did not need anything, I just needed love and encouragement.
It was my parents who were there for me and encouraged me.
Especially my mother.
I cri.ed in the night because my uncle gave me an ultimatum to leave his house in three months.
And renting an apartment in Lagos was not easy.
My father tried to help I told him not to worry, I felt this was a cross I needed to carry all alone.
My father even offered me his house in Anambra, I told him not to worry too that my work and everything I do revolves around Lagos and so moving back to the east will not work.
With all that I was passing through, still I put up a smile in the days.
I chose not to allow it to break me.
I put up funny posts here on Facebook.
And some posts to encourage people, but nobody knew what I was passing through not even my close friends.
I bottled it all up and acted like everything was okay with me.
I helped people on the streets with my money and yet I was homeless.
I did that because I knew that God was seeing me, He was seeing my heart and I trusted He will bless me.
Three months after my uncle gave me was over, I moved to a family friend’s house.
It was there I discovered a turnaround of events.
Businesses came in, including deals.
Less than three months I got a new apartment, six months before the lockdown.
It was a three-bedroom apartment.
I furnished it.
I was moving into the apartment, and my ex called me.
Shocked, I picked.
She asked me if I was still living with my uncle and I told her no that I have gotten my place.
I sent her a video of it.
She congratulated me.
Two days later she was telling me she wanted us back and that it wasn’t her intention to leave me.
I just laughed and said nothing.
In her words she said.
“… I know I was supposed to be there for you but I was scared that you were looking at me to accommodate you in my Lekki apartment, I don’t want to be accommodating a man in my house, but I felt so stup.id afterward because I owned two houses. You were telling me all you were passing through in your uncle’s house yet I found it difficult to help you, I was heartless. I knew that if the table was turned you would have been there for me and helped me, I know how kind you are, and it hu.rt me so much that I didn’t help you when you needed me. I learned from it, I wished I helped you, it hu.rt remembering how I abandoned you, I didn’t know what came over me. Can you please take me back as your girlfriend?”
I said to her from my heart.
“I didn’t need your house, I didn’t need your car, I didn’t need your money, I didn’t need anything from you. I mean I was a big boy before we met, I was doing extremely fine, which you knew and saw with your eyes. But life happened to me and all I needed from you were your love, your attention, your prayers, and your words, as my girl, but you left me. Nobody was there for me not even you of all people, only my family was there for me. I never wanted to live in any of your houses if that was what you were thinking, I only needed just you to be there for me in that difficult time.”
She sent me a video crying and pleading.
That it was the devil and she wanted us back.
I told her that I had forgiven her from my heart, frankly as I don’t bear grudges.
But what she was asking me was difficult because the love I had for her, I had long buried it, we could only become just friends.
How she turned her back at me got me hear.tbroken.
Heartbre.ak that went years.
.
Lagos
Kyrian Chiemelie Offor
